This is my entry submitted today in the Tara and Western Downs writers’ competition. We were to write on the subject of overcoming a difficult situation and becoming victorious. I hope you enjoy my entry.
It had arrived. The dreadful day when my husband and I were to present ourselves at the undertaker’s office go deliver the clothes we had chosen for our recently deceased 14 year old son, Cameron, to be buried in.
Sadly, our 18 year old son, Tony, accompanied us. Tony had been the driver, three days previously, when an accident had occurred and Cameron had lost his life as a result of it.
How terribly downcast, horrified and miserable beyond description was Tony. As the big brother in our family, Tony had always protected younger Cameron, but, when it really mattered, poor Tony was unable to prevent either the accident or the resulting death of his little brother.
We delivered Cameron’s clothes, then prepared ourselves as well as possible to view Cameron’s body lying in his coffin.
This was heart-wrenching for us as adults, but nigh unto impossible for Tony. We approached the coffin and placed some of Cameron’s most prized possessions in it, beside him. I touched his face and kissed his lifeless cheek. Then Tony stepped forward and also patted Cameron’s face.
Tony was shocked to discover that his brother’s face was cold, very cold. We watched as Tony struggled to process this fact and come to terms with the realization that Cameron would never be our typical Cameron, full of life, happiness and activity , again. never would he rise from that coffin to run around the backyard, ride his beloved mountain bike
or compete in short or middle -distance or cross country events, ever again.
Tony became, over the next few weeks, very reclusive. He set his bed up downstairs and partitioned off a small area in our basement to use as his room, where he spent almost all his time, alone.
I was sure that he needed counselling and some professional assistance to help him overcome the depression and self-loathing that seemed to be trying to consume him. There was no way that he would seek such assistance, so I undertook to complete a course in counselling so that he could come and discuss his extremely negative feelings with me, but, of course, he wouldn’t do that either.
My only way of being able to help Tony was to observe him through educated eyes and then pray for him. Many hours were spent watching him, monitoring him and praying for him.
Gradually, very gradually, small changes were observed. He began to take some interest in what was happening outside his small enclosure in the basement, not much at first, but a little.
I decided to buy him a Harley Davidson motorbike as I thought that this would give him a reason to stay alive and find some degree of enjoyment in his otherwise sorrowful life. This helped to get him out and about and lifted his spirits somewhat, which was encouraging and pleasing to observe.
I kept praying and talking to God about Tony, day and night, whilst, at the same time trying to deal with my own grief over the death of Cameron and my husband’s rage and grief concerning the whole incident. He found the loss of Cameron to be exceptionally difficult to deal with and displayed a whole world of anger and hostility, which was difficult for the rest of us to endure.
Little by little, over several years, Tony came back from the brink, began to immerse himself again in family life and then in employment, in which he excelled.
Eventually, he married and produced six delightful children. He now has two beautiful grand daughters as well and has so immersed himself in his work that he has his own extremely successful business now and is a multi millionaire.
Yes, he still misses his brother and undoubtedly often thinks about the terrible accident that caused Cameron’s death. however, his grieving is so much more normal now and the life that he has managed to build is filled with purpose and happiness.
I am staggered by Tony’s achievements and by the recognition of just how much progress he has been able to make. I can do nothing but rejoice that my prayers for him have been answered many times over and that God is still on the throne and has my Tony in the palm of his hand.
Because of the grace and mercy of God, His answers to my prayers and the personality and giftings that He built into Tony, my son cannot go under for going over. Praise God for that.
Estelle Everingham.